Observations of Human Beings
Trying to understand humans has been a lifetime hobby of mine and I don't think I will ever quite understand. Not only do I not understand other people, but I also don't understand myself. Here are some observations of other people and myself.
- Expecting forgiveness: Forgiveness can never be expected. The whole point of forgiveness is admitting that you are wrong and putting yourself at the mercy of the other person. If the other person doesn't forgive you, you are not entitled to get mad at them. This essentially just doubles the original problem that required forgiveness.
- Feeling judged: Most people who feel judged are actually the ones judging. People who just "know" what other people are thinking only betray their own thinking. Of course people are judging that something is wrong when the person themselves knows they are wrong. Very few people feel judged when they have a clear conscience.
- Taking offence: Being offended is a professional occupation for some but they are typically the greatest offenders. There is something to be said for having thick skin and understanding that people don't always mean what they say. Always being offended is expecting a level of perfection in others that is not expected of yourself. Most people get offended at this.
- Not listening: Predicting what other people are going to say is not the same thing as listening to them. Listening isn't so much about understanding the literal meaning of their words, but about what they are trying to communicate. People who don't ask questions, are not really listening.
- Being passive aggressive: Nobody is fooling anybody, everybody knows what is being said. This tactic is used to avoid confrontation, but it simply delays the confrontation until it is catastrophic in its nature.
- Being upset at people for always thinking they are right: First of all we all think we are right, so it should come as no surprise. If they were right all the time there should be no reason to be mad, the problems it that we think we are right all the time which is why we get frustrated. The important thing is that we are willing to listen, not that we necessarily change our mind.
- Not accepting excuses: When someone does not want to to do something they will find an excuse. We need to read between the lines and accept their excuses. Most people try to take away each excuse, but this is simply wasted effort. It is better not to make any excuses and simply say the truth, it is much simpler.
Do you do any of these things?