Otherhood

Melanie Notkin the a New York City-based author of Otherhoood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness, was interviewed by Sarah Boesveld regarding the contents of the book.

Melanie defines Otherhood as,
Otherhood is a cohort of women, mostly Generation X — the women who were born expecting that they’d have the social, economic and political equality our mothers weren’t born with, but that we’d have the husband and kids that they got. So many of us are among the most well-educated, the most financially independent — some of us are the most fabulous women — and remain single and childless as our fertile years wane.
However, Melanie does not see this as a choice that she has made.
And finally it’s this idea that we’ve chosen this path on purpose — that we have chosen not to find love, or that we’ve chosen not to have children. But the majority of North American women and men want marriage.
She points to the fact that it largely has to do with men not growing up fast enough.
A lot of movies show the man as a boy that never grows up. So the boys stay boys and women — 28, 29, 30 — are starting to get anxious and want to get married, and men are like 38, 40, 42, all of a sudden now they want to do it. It’s a decade later.
The question needs to be asked, why are men not growing up fast enough? Men are driven by responsibility, but there is almost nothing they have to be responsible for. They don't need to make a commitment before having sex, they don't have to commit for life (thanks to "no fault" divorce), they can have sex without having children (thanks to the pill, abortion), they don't need to provide a home for their children or their wife (many women can provide for themselves), and they don't to have the same "fertile years." When you take responsibility out of a relationship, you get a boy.

Feminism has failed society in numerous ways. Its promises sounded great, but did not turn out as expected. Instead of independence leading to happiness, it has lead to loneliness. Men have been devalued and have acted accordingly. Men and women need to understand that they need each other in order to be satisfied. Men need to feel valued, just like women do.

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